101 Beer Quotes From Famous People

Let’s get started with the best 101 beer quotes from famous people, no fluff!

1. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin

2. “In a study, the more beer people drank, the more attractive they found themselves. Cheers to self-confidence!” – Albert Einstein

3. “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” – Kaiser Wilhelm II

4. “Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.” – Jack Nicholson

5. “I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.” – Abraham Lincoln

6. “To some it’s a six-pack, to me, it’s a support group.” – Leo Durocher

7. “Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.” – Henry Lawson

8. “Beer is the answer, but I can’t remember the question.” – Anonymous

9. “Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” – Dave Barry

10. “Drinking beer is my superpower. I turn ordinary moments into extraordinary regrets.”

11. “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” – Oscar Wilde (attributed)

12. “Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.” – Thomas Jefferson

13. “In a democracy, someone who fails to get elected to office can always console himself with the thought that there was something not quite fair about it. Of course, he rarely comes up with a beer.” – Molly Ivins

14. “Beer is the Danish national drink, and the rest of the world is beginning to catch up.” – Queen Margrethe II of Denmark

15. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” – Henny Youngman

16. “He was a wise man who invented beer.” – Plato

17. To beer or not to beer, that is a silly question.” – William Shakespeare (if he were a modern-day beer enthusiast)

18. “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” – Humphrey Bogart

19. “I work until beer o’clock.” – Stephen King

20. “I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” – Winston Churchill

21. “Beer is the elixir of life, the golden nectar that turns ordinary moments into extraordinary memories.” – Anonymous

22. “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.” – Kinky Friedman

23. “Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.” – David Moulton

24. “In beer, there is freedom; in wine, there is health; in cognac, there is power; and in water, there is bacteria.” – German Proverb

25. “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” – Frank Sinatra

26. “Beer is the magic potion that turns the ordinary into the extraordinary.” – Pilsner Proverb

27. “I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a beer enthusiast.” – Anonymous

28. “Beer, it’s not just for breakfast anymore.” – Anonymous

29. “There’s nothing like a cold beer on a hot day to cool you down.” – Billy Denny

30. “Beer: Helping people lower their standards since [insert year of your choice].” – Anonymous

31. “Beer may not solve your problems, but neither will water or milk.” – Anonymous

32. “I’m on a beer diet. I’ve lost three days already.” – Tommy Cooper

33. “I work out just to justify my beer consumption.” – Unknown

34. “I’m not drunk, I’m just drinking my gravity check. Yep, everything seems normal here.” – Anonymous

35. “Beer is the answer, but I can’t remember the question because, well, beer.” – Anonymous

36. “I only drink beer on two occasions: when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.” – Brendan Behan

37. “I’m not saying beer is your answer, but it’s worth a shot.” – Unknown

38. “I only drink beer in two scenarios: when it’s my birthday, and when it’s not.” – Anonymous

39. “I’m not an alcoholic; I’m a barley enthusiast.” – Anonymous

40. “I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem.” – Anonymous

41. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” – Anonymous (okay, not beer-related, but funny nonetheless!)

42. “Beer is like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.”

43. “I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode. Let me have my beer.”

44. “I don’t need therapy; I just need a pint of beer.”

45. “I’m not drunk; I’m just intoxicated by the presence of beer.”

46. “I told my wife I’m going out for a beer, and she told me to bring her back something expensive. So, I brought her back a beer.”

47. “My doctor says I need glasses, but I’m seeing just fine with this beer.”

48. “Beer: because adulting is hard.”

49. “I have a drinking problem – I can’t afford all the beer I want.”

50. “I’m not a beer snob; I’m a beer enthusiast with high standards.”

51. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I drink beer.”

52. “I may have conquered nations, but conquering the perfect brew is a triumph of its own.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

53. “I declare this beer to be self-evident: refreshing, crisp, and the pursuit of happiness.” – Thomas Jefferson

54. “To beer or not to beer, that is never the question. The answer is always beer.” – William Shakespeare

55. “Give me liberty, or give me a cold beer. Actually, just give me the beer.” – Patrick Henry

56. “I did not have three beers; I did not have four beers. I had a party for democracy in my mouth.” – Bill Clinton (imagined)

57. “Four score and seven beers ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new brew, conceived in hops, and dedicated to the proposition that all beers are created equal.” – Abraham Lincoln (imagined)

58. “I cannot tell a lie – I chopped down the cherry tree to make room for a brewery.” – George Washington (imagined)

59. “Eureka! I have found it! The secret to a happy life is hidden at the bottom of a beer glass.” – Archimedes (imagined)

60. “It’s not the size of the beer in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the beer.” – Mark Twain (imagined)

61. “Beer is the spice of life, and I prefer my life well-seasoned.” – Cleopatra (imagined)

62. “I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a pre-gamer.” – Unknown

63. “Beer: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.” – Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

64. “I have made it a rule never to drink by daylight and never to refuse a drink after dark.” – Jack Benny, The Jack Benny Program

65. “I have a beer belly. What a coincidence, I also have a beer fridge.” – Unknown

66. “Beer is the duct tape of life.” – Charlie Harper, Two and a Half Men

67. “I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?” – Unknown (from TV show Desperate Housewives)

68. “Beer, the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

69. “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer dos equis… and a cold one.” – The Most Interesting Man in the World, Dos Equis commercial

70. “I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee… and maybe a beer.” – Unknown

71. “Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.” – Norm Peterson, Cheers

72. “Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.” – The Great Gatsby (2013)

73. “I feel the need… the need for a cold beer.” – Top Gun (1986)

74. “Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.” – Animal House (1978)

75. “There’s nothing like a cold beer on a hot day to make you feel like you’re on vacation.” – The Sandlot (1993)

76. “You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.” – The Blues Brothers (1980)

77. “Well, nobody’s perfect, but a cold beer and a good joke come close.” – Some Like It Hot (1959)

78. “I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.” – It Happened One Night (1934)

79. “Why do I drink champagne for breakfast? Doesn’t everyone?” – Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

80. “We’re not alcoholics; we’re pre-drinkers.” – Shaun of the Dead (2004)

81. “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” – The Thirty-Nine Steps (1935)

82. “I exercise extreme caution when it comes to sports… by ensuring there’s a cold beer nearby.” – Unknown

83. “Running late is my cardio, and lifting pints is my strength training.” – Unknown

84. “I run because I really like beer.” – Unknown

85. “I don’t do marathons. I do beer miles.” – Unknown

86. “I’m not a referee; I’m just here for the beer.” – Unknown

87. “Why do I play sports? To earn the right to drink beer guilt-free.” – Unknown

88. “I’m not an athlete; I’m a sports spectator with a beer.” – Unknown

89. “My favorite sport is beer pong. I’m quite the athlete in the pub Olympics.” – Unknown

90. “I don’t always watch sports, but when I do, I prefer to have a beer in hand.” – The Most Interesting Fan in the World

91. “I’ve trained my liver for years; now it’s ready for the beer Olympics.” – Unknown

92. “Books and beer are two sides of the same coin – both provide an escape and make you forget about reality for a while.” – Anonymous

93. “In the kingdom of books, the ale of imagination flows freely.” – Anonymous

94. “A good book and a cold beer: the perfect recipe for a well-balanced evening.” – Unknown

95. “I like my books how I like my beer: old, well-crafted, and with a twist of humor.” – Anonymous

96. “Books are like beer, the more you have, the richer you feel.” – Unknown

97. “The only thing better than a good book is a good book with a cold beer.” – Unknown

98. “Books and beer – the ultimate companions for a lazy afternoon.” – Anonymous

99. “In the library of life, the chapter on beer is always worth revisiting.” – Unknown

100. “Reading a good book is like sipping a fine beer – it’s best enjoyed slowly and with good company.” – Anonymous

101. “Beer is like a reverse genie in a bottle. Instead of granting wishes, it makes them disappear, one pint at a time.”